Thursday, February 21, 2013
Sob Because of Grief Forcing Flow in a Channel to the Sea
Found this one in my drafts from September and found it extremely fitting for my current situation:
"I'm from New England. To some of you that means nothing but to others it means a lot. I'm straightforward, direct, to the point, blunt...you get it. I say what is on my mind. I rarely use a filter. Sarcasm is the only other language I know and I speak it very, very well. Most think I'm an a-hole, mean, abrasive, insensitive and to them I say I'm sorry that I was not brought up in a world where every kid won a trophy. I will not put up with you talking down to me, disrespecting me, or talking back. Your feelings are hurt because you are not tough, you are expecting gifts, you want everyone to love one another. Even when I'm honest and I'm being nice, it still never means anything. But I can only be nice for so long. And then, unlike the cowards who speak ill behind one's back, I'm direct with no regard for outside opinion of the ignorance that judges me. The negativity fuels my fire, gives me confidence and it means I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing; and that is being myself. I will never live my life trying to make every single person happy just to make sure everyone likes me. I know who my friends are, I know who cares about me, I know who understands me, and those are the people I show respect to and care about the most in this world. I'm an ass because I choose to make myself happy instead of pretending to BE happy just for the sake of those around me."
Damn, it's refreshing to be back.
"I'm from New England. To some of you that means nothing but to others it means a lot. I'm straightforward, direct, to the point, blunt...you get it. I say what is on my mind. I rarely use a filter. Sarcasm is the only other language I know and I speak it very, very well. Most think I'm an a-hole, mean, abrasive, insensitive and to them I say I'm sorry that I was not brought up in a world where every kid won a trophy. I will not put up with you talking down to me, disrespecting me, or talking back. Your feelings are hurt because you are not tough, you are expecting gifts, you want everyone to love one another. Even when I'm honest and I'm being nice, it still never means anything. But I can only be nice for so long. And then, unlike the cowards who speak ill behind one's back, I'm direct with no regard for outside opinion of the ignorance that judges me. The negativity fuels my fire, gives me confidence and it means I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing; and that is being myself. I will never live my life trying to make every single person happy just to make sure everyone likes me. I know who my friends are, I know who cares about me, I know who understands me, and those are the people I show respect to and care about the most in this world. I'm an ass because I choose to make myself happy instead of pretending to BE happy just for the sake of those around me."
Damn, it's refreshing to be back.
So much going on
I just realized I haven't written anything in 2013 yet. I had started to write a 2012 review but it was such a crappy year I couldn't finish it. 2013 is starting off on a high note though, a new beginning for me, allowing me to be myself and actually enjoy living my life. I have my own apartment now less than a mile from work. I get to walk in to work everyday so that saves a bunch on gas money, which is very nice.
Work is incredibly stressful and super busy. We have a bunch of people out due to a number of personal injuries so there are a lot of areas to be covered in their absence. Our cephalopod gallery for 2014 is being put together piece by piece and while there are some serious frustrations we are doing some groundbreaking work that has never, EVER been done before.
I'm training for a triathlon that takes place in Napa in mid-April. I knew I shouldn't have signed up for it when I did because at the time I was pretty sure I wouldn't be in the same relationship by April. But we signed up together so I'll go through it, alone, and as usual I'll perform above and beyond my own personal expectations as I am highly motivated when flying solo with limited support.
Cheers to new beginnings in a new year that already has hope of being way better than 2012!
Work is incredibly stressful and super busy. We have a bunch of people out due to a number of personal injuries so there are a lot of areas to be covered in their absence. Our cephalopod gallery for 2014 is being put together piece by piece and while there are some serious frustrations we are doing some groundbreaking work that has never, EVER been done before.
I'm training for a triathlon that takes place in Napa in mid-April. I knew I shouldn't have signed up for it when I did because at the time I was pretty sure I wouldn't be in the same relationship by April. But we signed up together so I'll go through it, alone, and as usual I'll perform above and beyond my own personal expectations as I am highly motivated when flying solo with limited support.
Cheers to new beginnings in a new year that already has hope of being way better than 2012!
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